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    zapewniamy telefon zaufania, pomoc prawną, psychologiczną i grupę wsparcia
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    i odsunięcia ich od pracy z dziećmi
  • To nie Twoja wina

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History of Darek

userfiles/ennielekajciesieorgpl/file/dariusz_opowiesc.pdf

 

Darius knew the priest Pacyga from a childhood. It was someone who gave him a First Communion and bought the first bike. It was a "uncle"- he asked Darek to be called like this when he was teenager. Priest Pacyga brought Darek to the city where he was a rector of local parish. The priest chose technical school for him . Then the boy left his home village and moved to the small city which is in one of the polish province called Lubuskie. He settled there in the dormitory. But often he slept in the rectory. There was friendlier.

* * *

Dariusz:

I also wanted to be a priest. I spent a lot of time in the rectory, my mom was there a hostess. Then I realized that it was her dream not main. In that time priest lived differently. In a state of war, those who were at the church did not feel especially the crisis. To them at first were placed gifts from the west : new clothes, sweets, coffee. The whole carton, enough to take it. As I got Palmolive I borrowed it to my colleagues in the dormitory so everyone could use it a little bit. At the parish was another life. I was glad that I was going to technical school. It was an adventure, bigger city. The problem was only in the dormitory - known extermination of "cats". Therefore, whenever I could I were in the rectory. I slept at the lounge, in the guest room. That was in 1982.

* * *

One night priest Pacyga came to me. He began to ask me how the boyish affairs, if everything was okay, and if peel out from my foreskin, or If I masturbate. - I think so - I said. For me it was a problem to admit because this is a sin. The priest said to me : do not worry, it's such a weakness, men have to deal with it. A bit like a father. With my father I have never talked on this subject. I thought that a priest asked because he cared about me. He came to me in the same way maybe once or twice but later the concern ended. He started to touch me .... He was in the same dressing gown, he masturbated himself. I was in complete shock. I was 15 years old. Father ??? how old was then a priest? So It looked like this on the first time. The second time he done this to me in the guest room on the rectory. I was lying motionless. He touched me and doing something to himself. I was lying with my back to him. He was just doing everything there….I stopped sleeping in this room but I was involved in the trips with a priest by my mother. She wanted me to help him and she saw opportunity for me to see the mountains. Route seventy kilometers we drove for almost three hours. He touched me by the pants and put his hand on his genitals. He tried to do this in a room in the mountains, but the presence of his colleague somehow prevented. In the night train to Warsaw he shoved my hand under his jacket, which I covered up. I moved away. Then others passengers came. I think that the priest wanted to have a young boy to his games so that why he tried to get used to each other. 

* * *

Who he was for me ? Role model ? Yes. Friend? Even more. I treated him as a second father. How I explained it to myself ? I don’t know. I maid believe that this is such a weakness. Because he just said, if you had any conscience, then come to me for confession, I'll confess, I give you absolution, this will be our secret. Why I did not protest ? I guess I was afraid that if I do, I can not be a priest, come to the rectory. This was my world. I grew up there. Why I did not tell anyone ? To whom ? Mom? Imagine the scene: she knows the priest for years, he is for her some kind of sacred icon and I suddenly tell her that he touched me. I did not even know such a word : sexual abused.

* * *

Between the altars fell various allusions. After one of my trip older colleagues asked me : How was there with a parish priest ? Nice? My friend which now is a priest joked with me caught me by the hand and said : Come to the parish priest, Father solve your problems ...We knew what was going on. I think that in this period there were four or five boys who were abused by a priest but I have only total sure about myself. I will not speak for someone….

* * *

Is the sexual abusement had an influence on me? I was not a great husband or father. I had some problems with myself , work and alcohol.  But I do not want to say that it was because of this. Certainly not only. Now, as we arrived in England, it is already stable. I am not regret that I was not became a priest. Eighteen months ago I officially left the Catholic Church. I do not want to say that it is only because of a priest PACYGA. The process of leaving lasted several years. I do not agree with some of the teachings and what is happening in the Church. I did not want to be Catholic in name only.

* * *

Why today I want to talk about it? I listened to what happens to the media, the Church speaks about the case. I also had to collided with a wall of ignorance, indifference and ordinary rediculing from people just like me. I managed to talk on the phone with the bishop who was then an auxiliary in my diocese. The bishop asked why I did not report it earlier then I asked him who would believe the child ? If you came with your father and mother we would listen to you..." - said the bishop. But I could’t come with mother or father…I do not believe the bishop…He was auxiliary bishop in the diocese for about 40 years and he didn’t know ?

 * * *

Once with my colleagues we called to him. With those colleagues who were also abused. We were not sober ... I talked, I asked if he remembered what it was like between us. He just kept saying, "Who says who says? What are you telling these things ... ". Then he was an older man, ailing. Really I felt sorry for him…What I think about him today ? I do not think. I do not feel anything. Neither sorrow, nor anger, just emptiness.. 

Priest Benedict Pacyga is dead know.